Gay Panic

PhotoGrid_1515119622488When Islan Nettles was murdered in NYC, James Dixon argued that he didn’t know she was a transwoman and in a “blind fury” killed her.

When US Marine Joseph Scott Pemberton killed 26-year-old Jennifer Laude, he stated he choked her to death only after learning she was a trans. He also added that she made him feel like he had been raped.

In 2011, teenager Brandon Mcinerney shot his classmate Latisha King twice because he claims King flirted with him. King was a 15-year-old trans girl student.

In each case, the defendant entered a “not guilty” plea for reasons of Gay Panic.

In 48 states in the U.S., you can legally argue that someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity caused you to injure or murder them and as a result, the courts should be lenient on your verdict.

What. The. Total. Fuck?!! Continue reading

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The Gayest Moments of 2017

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Can I be honest? This year was shit. Not to be confused with “THE” shit because… no. Just no. Nothing ceased to amaze me this year. Not the bigot we have in our white house or the moment the KKK’s took over a college campus (in broad daylight).

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And definitely not the closet Kevin Spacey was pushed out of amidst sexual harassment accusations. (I knew he was family after watching American Beauty. Something about him…)

I should’ve known this year would be shit when they sabotaged our living legend, Mariah, on live television.

Still, even in times of sorrow, we have to acknowledge the positivity around us. Like Dylan Thomas wrote, “Do not go gentle into that good night.”Instead, lets rage against the dying light. Let’s reconstruct the pillars we know as humanity, compassion, and empathy. Let’s RESIST!

So, as the last blog of 2017, I am recognizing the top 10 gayest moments of 2017.

Gird your loins.

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What Television Show Made You Gay?

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I can’t really put my finger on it, but if I had to pick, I think the movie or television show that made me gay was To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything. I mean, it’s either that or In Living Color. Except, I remember watching In Living Color with my whole family… but I’m the only gay one.

I keep hearing arguments that introducing kids to gay-ness, whether via a television storyline or character, is strengthening the gay agenda and creating more gay kids in the process. People literally believe that television shows have the power to nurture homosexuality into their kids. Literally.

Using that logic, I had to ask myself– Self, what television show made you gay? Better yet, what heterosexual show did I miss? Were my mother and brother watching television behind my back? Jokes aside, nurturing gayness into children is not a thing. In fact, nurturing gender identity isn’t a thing either. Trans kids don’t see trans people and say to themselves, tomorrow- I’ll be trans.

Check out this clip:

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Stop Legitimizing LGBT+ Murders

Whenever I come across stories about an LGBT+ community member murdered, raped, or beaten, why is it always followed by a backlash of victim shaming? Why does the blame always fall back onto the trans woman or onto the gay man?

Why?

How can the public empathize with a murderer but demonize the victim? I have never seen the public rally behind a trans or gay person of color the way they do a cisgendered, straight person.

I distinctly remember Matthew Shepard, but he was white.

Where is the outrage for Mesha Caldwell, Jamie Lee Wounded Arrow, Jojo Striker, Tiara Richmond ( Keke Collier), Jaquarrius Holland, Chyna Doll Dupree, Ciara McElveen, Alphonza Watson, Chayviss Reed, Kenneth Bostick

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At what point are we going to stop legitimizing LGBT+ murders and call it by its name?-  A HATE CRIME.

#WeMatter Continue reading

Coming Out Brave: Vol. 2

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At the 2017 Emmys, Lena Waithe made history by becoming the first black (gay) woman to win for best comedy series WRITER. She ended her acceptance speech by saying, “And last but certainly not least, my L.G.B.T.I.A family. I see each and every one of you. The things that make us different…those are our superpowers. Every day when you walk out the door, put on your imaginary cape and go out there and conquer the world because the world would not be as beautiful as it is if we weren’t in it.”

She channeled my emotions when I came up with the concept of this blog. Here are our heroic stories. Thank you, Black Power Ranger, Green Lantern, and Maleficent for sharing your stories.

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Coming Out Brave: Vol. 1

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I’ve always had mixed feelings about the idea of “coming out,” especially when I was younger. For me, the concept alone was rather weird and unnecessary. Never in my life have I heard or seen somebody come out as straight. I’m sure some of you rolled your eyes or even scoffed at my equivalency, but you know that I’m right. People don’t come out as straight because being straight is the status quo. If everyone is presumably straight, then coming out would be redundant. Coming out as gay automatically makes you the “other” in every definition of the word. As a kid, I always associated being gay with something bad because of how television and how adults depicted us.

I didn’t quite understand the power behind coming out until I was a little bit older. For a long time, I honestly thought that coming out is a personal decision, a personal conversation, and a personal experience. If you’re gay, I love you and I’m here for you, but there’s no need to broadcast it to the world. Or, at least I thought. I didn’t necessarily want people to hide being gay. Or maybe subconsciously I did. It’s hard to know for sure. What I do know is that coming out can be the most transformative and liberating moments in your life. Coming out shows the world that in spite of the obstacles purposely placed in our way, we don’t give a fuck.

Coming out is the fuck you story of our lives. 

Sure, coming out is liberating and it can be very fulfilling. However, it does not mean all of our stories are good. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the horror stories are true. Children are disowned by their families, kicked out, and shunned by their friends because they are gay.  Only because they are gay. It happens all the time. More than you know. More than I care to share, actually. It is those kids who I consider brave. Continue reading

Praying The Gay Away

A couple of weeks ago I was watching an episode of Fox’s new hit show ‘Star’ that addressed an issue we rarely see on television, let alone prime time. Not long after, ABC’s 20/20 aired a new episode seemingly addressing the same issue. What issue? Gay conversion therapy.

Check out this scene featuring singer Tyrese and transgender actress  Amiyah Scott.

Praying Away The Gay from Charlie R on Vimeo. Continue reading

STOP Bottom Shaming

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“Are you a top or a bottom?” [see gif–>]

Whether you’re a veteran in the gay scene or a spring chicken, you cannot avoid this question. But why? When did the obsession to know someone’s sexual position, even before their name, become the norm?

You’d think that being a part of two different marginalized groups, black gay men would be more accepting of different lifestyles and choices. Unfortunately, that is not the case. The black gay community is simply a microcosm of Trump’s vision of America. We segregate ourselves by color, masculinity, or lack thereof and even sexual position. We even shun the ones who are seemingly different from us. Then, we have the audacity to question why we haven’t achieved equality yet.  

Bottom shaming has unapologetically become the ammunition and defense mechanism for gays against gays. Gay men love labels. It’s true. However, at some point, we have to collectively take a stand to leave the labels on clothes and remove them from groups of people, especially when they promote hate.

If you think calling someone a bottom isn’t considered shaming and demeaning then ask yourself when was the last time you called someone a top and meant it in a derogatory way?

It’s okay… I’ll wait.
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You Can Be Gay: My Tribute to Moonlight

When I first read about the impact Moonlight was having on film festivals, I was proud. I had no personal attachment to the movie, except my love for Mahershala Ali. Still, I was proud.  When was the last time a hugely successful black movie did not have maids, or slaves, or some second-hand job? I hadn’t yet realized how important this movie would be to black gay men across the world. I hadn’t realized how personally touched I would be by the both the plot and dialogue.

What I did know, though,  is that I had to see this movie.

Moonlight, at the very least, is a coming of age story about a young black boy who struggles with a drug-abusing mother, an absent father, bullying, and an understanding of his sexuality. At most, Moonlight is a reflection of what society has to offer young black gay boys growing up in poor neighborhoods.

Check out this clip.

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